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 Mort, Katherine A.

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Artemis
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PostSubject: Mort, Katherine A.   November 2nd 2011, 7:45 pm

Katherine Anne
Mort



I'll Tell You About Me . .
.


Codename: Artemis
Aliases: Katherine Anne Burns

Originality: OC
Gender: Female
Birthdate: September 22nd
Age: 19

Height: 5' 9''
Weight: 130lb
Eyes: dark blue, large
Hair: just longer than shoulder length, dirty blonde, straight
Body: skinny, yet surprisingly strong
Identifying Marks: none


. . .This Is Who I Am



Alliance: unaffiliated
Personality: Kate is shy and more comfortable when alone. She is usually nice when she does interact with people. She laughs and smiles easily but isn't funny. She usually bottles up strong emotions such as anger, fear, or grief. She isn't very good at socializing and doesn't talk much. She has trouble making friends becuase she doesn't trust people easily. She thinks logically and likes to have a plan of action. She has good manners.
Though she has no religious preference, she has developed a strict ethical code. She believes that one should always protect those who are kind or innocent, but killing murderer's, thieves, etc. is alright too. She especially hates people who abuse animals . . . or people. She also doesn't swear, steal, cheat, or take part in any activities she deems unjust or amoral. She follows orders well, unless she considers them unethical, and she is obedient. However, she is not a very good leader.

Sexuality: straight
Face Claim: Skyler Samuels



. . . This Is What I Do

Powers: Her DNA and body structure can manipulate themselves to resemble that of any warm blooded animal whose DNA she comes in contact with. The entire process used to take her hours, but, with help from her family, she was able to train enough to be able to transform in a few seconds. However, she likes to transform in private because it isn't a very pretty sight and it is often quite painful. When in animal form, Kate's human consciousness is still in control and she can understand other people. Also, when her body structure is changing it is using a lot of energy and producing a lot of cells, so it usually heals itself pretty well, but it can't heal completely, especially for serious wounds. She can only turn into warm-blooded animals whose DNA she has touched. It works best when she has touched the DNA recently, so she has to carry bits of fur and feathers around sometimes. She also cannot transform while she is unconscious.

Skills: Kate understands subjects such as math and science easily. She also has a good memory and can think logically and analytically. She is skilled with typical weapons such as guns and explosives due to her time as a mercenary, but she also enjoys archery. She is good at spying and tracking. She is athletic and can run fast. She can also use some basic martial arts moves, but doesn't have a lot of experience because she usually just transforms. She has good handwriting. She can drive well. She is organized. She is good at reading quickly because she reads a lot of books. She is good at strategizing.

Weaknesses: She has no artistic ability. She isn't that useful in human form as a fighterwithout a weapon becuase she is used to becoming an animal. She doesn't have very good social skills. She is clumsy. She gets fleas sometimes. She isn't very trusting. She can only transform when she is conscious. She needs to use a lot of energy to transform, so if she doesn't eat enough or get enough sleep she can have trouble shifting. She can only have abilities of real animals. She can still be harmed as easily as any animal. She is vulnerable to animal diseases because she doesn't have all the antibodies that a normal animal would have.

. . . This Is Who I Was


Mother: Elizabeth Mort
Father: George Mort
Siblings: Robert Mort
Other Important Relatives:

History: Her parents were scientists who traveled the world to study exotic animals and their genetics. When their children turned out to be mutants, they decided to train them and help them develop their abilities. Robert, her older brother, turns into larger, tougher, versions of the animals he touches, but he doesn't stay in control of his body very well. Before the New Nation was formed, Kate's family traveled the world.

Though they were wealthy, they didn't always have great living conditions and Kate was far from spoiled. Her parents taught her to be tough and resourceful so that she could survive in the wilderness. Kate's parent's were strict and violent rather than loving or caring, and Kate learned more from them about discipline and persistence than she did about morals, love, or honor. They also often violently defended themselves against poachers, tribes, or other aggressive groups in the places they traveled. She learned about science, literature, history, and math through books from libraries or her family’s collection. Kate wasn't able to make a lot of friends because her family traveled so much, so Kate would often spend time in the wilderness observing wildlife.

Kate discovered her powers after her brother, so they weren't a terrible shock. When she was about thirteen years old, her family was staying in Canada with some distant relatives. Kate was able to attend a real school instead of just reading books, so she was able to make her first friend. One day, she got to go to her friend's house. While there, she petted the friend's dog. Later that day, when she and her friend were outside, some mean older kids from the neighborhood started picking on Kate. She just ignored them for the most part, but then her friend stood up for her and talked back to the bullies. The older kids got annoyed and punched her friend in the face. Kate got so angry and scared that she was filled with energy. Next thing she knew, she was digging her golden retriever teeth into the lead bully's leg. After that, her family went back to the tropics to train her.

On their travels through Africa, Kate's family was in a village getting some food supplies when soldiers from a neighboring community attacked. Mostly out of self-defense, Kate's family helped fight off the intruders. While doing so, they saved a pregnant woman, Marjani, from being killed. Afterwards, the village, especially Marjani, felt indebted to Kate's family. Kate's parent's decided to leave fourteen-year-old Kate with Marjani's family while the rest of the Mort family went on a dangerous expedition into the wilderness to search for a rare bird species. Kate grew to think of Marjani, Marjani's husband, and their kids as her temporary family. Marjani cared for and loved Kate as if she were one of her own. The rest of the family was kind to Kate and shared with her all that they owned even though they did not have very much. One night during this period, Kate was in a new panther form. She wasn't very experienced with transforming and wasn't supposed to be out, but her parents had taught her to never stop training. She'd heard a rustling in the brush and had pounced on it. It turned out that the rustling had been caused by one of the kids in her temporary family and she had hurt him. When she brought him back to the village, the looks of disgust and anger that her new friends and family gave her were worse than any scolding or abuse. Later during that time, some warriors from another area attacked the village. One of the warriors grabbed a child from the Kate's temporary family and held a knife to his throat, yelling at the father in an unfamiliar language. Kate had been more terrified for the child than she had ever been for her own safety. As the warrior and the father spoke, the warrior began to get more and more angry. Kate tried to shift, but she couldn't focus enough. The warrior yelled at the father and slit the Child’s throat. The kid fell to the ground lifeless. Kate had been so filled with hatred that she pulled a pocketknife out of her pocket and attacked the armed warrior. She'd gotten badly hurt, but in the end, she'd been able to fatally wound the warrior. By the time she had finished fighting, the villagers had fought back most of the warriors. Marjani picked up the dead child and Kate cried. It was the only time Kate could remember crying. There was a modest burial for the kid. Both of these experiences motivated Kate to learn to control her abilities and be more protective of the people she cares about. After the death of the child, she also learned to value the life of all living creatures more. When Kate's family returned from their expedition, Marjani gave Kate a necklace made out of string with an ivory charm shaped like a heart. She told Kate to never forget her heart.

When the New Nation was formed, Kate's family used their intelligence and fighting skills to become mercenaries. During her time as a mercenary, Kate observed many acts of violence and injustice, but she tolerated them because it was what she was told to do. She learned to shut off her emotions and moral instincts when she went on missions with her colleagues. She had forgotten about what she had learned from kind people such as the family in Africa.

One mission, however, forced her to remember. She was in a run-down city with a couple other mercenaries. They were sent to capture an old mutant who was giving the New Nation government some trouble. She'd tracked him to some slums that were filled with impoverished people trying to survive. The mutant had been with a kid. Kate hadn't really noticed the kid at first, but then a mercenary grabbed the kid’s shoulder and pointed a gun at his head. He told the target that if he didn't come with them, the kid would die. When Kate saw the kid frozen in fear, she was reminded for an instant of the child in the African village. Her emotions and memories came rushing back. Suddenly, without thinking, she shot the mercenary in the head before he had a chance to blink. Then she turned and shot the other mercenaries with her. The mutant and the kid had looked at her with shock and terror, but she hadn't paid attention to them. She disposed of the bodies and made up a story about their deaths.

The incident with the kid didn't immediately end her mercenary career. It did, however, make her more aware of what she and the other mercenaries were doing. She realized how much she despised the other mercenaries and herself for every cruel, violent thing they did. One night, after a long day of planning an attack on some rebels, Kate was sorting through her drawers, when something fell out onto the floor. Kate picked it up and realized it was the ivory necklace Marjani had given her. She looked around at her small room in the Mercenary guild and realized that this was not where she wanted to be. She put on the necklace and tucked it under her shirt. Then she packed a bunch of weapons and supplies into her rusty pickup truck and drove out of there.



. . . But Who Am I?

Your Name: Katie
Experience: less than a year experience. Not a high level.
Contact: by email
Where'd You Find Us? Abby told me about it.
RP Sample:



Quote :
Kate gripped the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles were turning white, but she didn’t notice. Thoughts were racing through her head as she headed down the abandoned old road. She hadn’t really thought about what she would do after she’d left. It wasn’t like her to not be prepared, to not know exactly what was going on and what to do. She had just seen too much. It was the last straw. Her tolerance of the mercenaries and their savage behavior had been exhausted and she couldn’t take it anymore. Consequently, she was now heading along an unfamiliar road in a truck full of weapons and other supplies she’d been able to pack up before she rushed out of the Mercenary Guild, leaving behind her only relatives and the only place she could call home.

Kate glanced at the most detailed map the guild had on the area. There was a very large expanse of uncharted nothingness in the middle of nowhere where she expected the Heroes United Base of Operations might be, but she didn’t think she’d be able to find it any time soon. She didn’t even know what she would say when she did find it. She could try telling the truth. Hi my name is Katherine Mort. My family consists of mad scientists/murderers who like to blow things up or just tear them apart with their teeth. I’ve been working as a mercenary for a while assisting your enemy and now I randomly feel like helping you because it seems like the right thing to do. Yeah, that would go over well. She wished she actually knew what she was doing or what to do next.

She kept driving for a few more hours until her eyelids began to droop. She drove off the road a ways and fell asleep in the front seat, her brain still buzzing with confused and anxious thoughts.


Last edited by Artemis on November 11th 2011, 6:31 pm; edited 24 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Mort, Katherine A.   November 2nd 2011, 7:58 pm

The only real problems I see are within the "This is what I do" category.

Personality, however, could use a negative trait or so.

Would you mind explaining her shifting powers a little more in detail? I understand that she has to touch something that carries the DNA of an animal in order to transform into that animal, but those are the only details that you have. How long does it take her to transform? Is she a mutant because of what her parents' did to her, and not because of birth right? Explain more into that.

Also, what you have written in the skills go more hand-in-hand with the powers. We're talking about natural ability here. Is she a painter, a musician? Explain what she knows about weapons and which types of weapons you're talking about here.

Finally, for weaknesses, how's her healing? Shape shifters in the Marvel universe tend to have better healing abilities. Does that apply to Katherine? Or is she like a normal human and will die with fatal or near-fatal wounds? Does shifting help her healing?

A few questions can be brought up from what you described here, but at least she's a solid person.

**EDIT: Also note that your username needs to be the same name as your character (preferably code name) and that you need a 150x 200px avatar before you can be accepted

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PostSubject: Re: Mort, Katherine A.   November 2nd 2011, 9:06 pm

Okay. Thanks. I edited it. Please let me know what you think.
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PostSubject: Re: Mort, Katherine A.   November 3rd 2011, 3:30 pm

Ah, kay. I chatted with another staff member about your application - because we rarely accept a new body aboard without conformation with each other - and we've come up with some new things for you to fix.

Your avatar/icon/picture for your account should be 150 px wide by 200 px high. It must be a photo of your face claim, Skylar Samuels.

In order for your character to be 5'9" and well muscled (toned, I believe, is the word you're looking for in the case of female description), she would be well over 125 pounds. You might want to take a look at a height/weight chart to figure out a healthy weight, and then add five pounds or more to that. She's not overweight if you do that, but is a healthy weight for an athletic body.

Alliance should be described in one word and one word only. Take a look at the character factions at the bottom of the home page if you would like. Although, if what you say is true, "neutral" or "unaffiliated" are the words you would like to put in that place.

The personality clashes a little with what you have written, and rather a lot with what you have in the history and skills sections. You say that she isn't very confident, has good instincts, but is determined and persistent. As I see it, one who is confident is determined and persistent, not the other way around.

You also do a lot of mention about fighting. Not everyone is the warrior of the group. I think, in your case, you would do well in not focusing on something such as that, but another strong trait that she has. If she's a good teammate, you could say that she's a good person to solidify a group of people. She doesn't have to fight on the front lines against the New Nation, for the New Nation, or anything else. Take a look through your application again and make sure that she's solid and that you'll be able to role play her confidently if and when you are accepted.

I don't mean to deter you from the site - much the opposite - but I do want to be very helpful for your cause. It's my job, you see.

Anyway, onwards I shall go.

I don't wish to make you change your character fully and completely, but I do believe you would be better off in making her a mutant by birth and not because she's a lab experiment, especially by her parents. As my dear friend pointed out, her history can be taken as Mary-Sue-ish, and no one wants to read about a Mary-Sue.

Focus more on Katherine, what she does, how she thinks, how she does things, and not her family. It's okay to briefly mention them in her history, but afterwards, she's her own individual. Just make sure her sudden realization explained in the history is not sudden at all, and not all happy-happy joy-joy. Insert some violence if you must. Make her learn the hard way.

Also, backtracking a little, make sure that in the weaknesses you explain the weaknesses of her powers as well. That is very important.

And Raven would also like to point out that, as she is your first character, you might want to stupid things down for the powers so that it makes sense without straining one's brain or thinking about it too much. Even if one can follow it a little, your explanation is confusing.

You only need the names of her mother, father, and sibling. You do not need paragraphs explaining them. They won't be coming along on this site, yes? Of course not. So you don't need to put more thought than you need to into them.

All in all, don't think too hard. Just let your character talk to you. Message us back on this thread when you've fixed everything up. Sorry about the length of this critique.

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PostSubject: Re: Mort, Katherine A.   November 3rd 2011, 6:48 pm

Thank you. I tried to fix it. How is it now?
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PostSubject: Re: Mort, Katherine A.   November 8th 2011, 5:33 pm

Much better. Still a few things I'd like you to fix before I accept you.

The picture for your application disappeared. I ... dunno where it went. Or is that just my computer?

The rest mostly deals with your history. Even though this is a fantasy RPG, her finding a foster family in Africa isn't very probable. You don't explain how she got there, and I doubt a tribe of African people would take her in. You would do better in explaining some hobos she spent some time with in Detroit or something. No, probably not.

Another thing: the rules state that a child may not discover their mutant abilities until at least age twelve. Make sure that Kate is no exception.

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PostSubject: Re: Mort, Katherine A.   November 11th 2011, 6:25 pm

Thanks. I think I fixed everything. The picture wasn't working because there was something wrong with it on the website that it came from originally, but I got it back. Please let me know what you think.
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PostSubject: Re: Mort, Katherine A.   November 12th 2011, 4:15 pm

I've picked on you enough.




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